Puzzle Frustration: Helping Kids Build Problem-Solving Skills

A mom’s reflection on perseverance, patience, and learning through puzzles

I’ve been working with the Geotoys team for just over a year, and one of many things I’ve learned in that time is that my kids are not huge fans of puzzles. This doesn’t bother me too much - there are hobbies and interests for all people and not everyone is interested in fitting pieces together on a table. But what did bother me were some of the reactions my youngest brought to the challenge of puzzling - varying in intensity from exaggerated groans to explosive anger!

Those moments revealed something important. Puzzle frustration wasn’t just about the activity itself—it was an opportunity to meet my kids where they are, manage my own expectations, and help them recognize and work through their reactions to activities that are challenging.

First, Baby Steps

Sometimes there’s an easier place to start than where you begin. My kid struggled with the 3x3 Rubik’s Cube for months, watching YouTube video after video trying to grasp the algorithm that would allow him to solve it consistently. We took a major pivot once he discovered a 2x2 cube, which helped him organize his thoughts with a smaller problem before leveling up.

Don’t be fooled - the 2x2 is still decently difficult! As a table puzzler, I honestly love to return to our Geotoys' GeoPuzzles, which allow me to sharpen my geography skills while not being as hard to assemble as our Signature Puzzles or Metropuzzles (much like the 2x2 to the 3x3 cube puzzle). As I get used to the pieces and the structure of the map, the GeoPuzzle becomes relaxing in its own way, much like the 2x2 is now my kid’s go-to to relax instead of stress.

Taking a few steps backwards before moving forward also gives us a chance to take a breath and remember puzzles are just games. The stakes of an unsolved puzzle are quite low. If we can practice managing our stress within situations that are not life-and-death, it can help us not only cope with the little things but provide a better perspective for when bigger challenges arise. 

Second, Modeling

I do most of the puzzling in the house, and I assemble them in sight of my kids. This gives me the opportunity to show them my own stick-to-it-ness, and what it looks like for an adult to work through something difficult until it’s complete. Our kids don’t often get to see their parents problem-solve. Those moments often happen during work hours, or maybe as “behind closed door” adult conversations we don’t want our kids to be privy to. But puzzling gives them a very real-world look into how adults develop strategies, batch similar tasks, and repetitively try, fail, and try again without "over-the-top" emotions.

Puzzling also shows my kids that I enjoy taking up a challenge simply for the sake of it being challenging - that challenges can be fun! 

Third, Planning/Sorting

There are some really interesting strategies that are used by puzzlers around the world - some as simple as finding the edges pieces first and assembling the borders first, or sorting pieces into batches with similar colors first (I highly recommend Geotoys’ Regional Puzzles for this tactic). Once you get closer to the end of the puzzle, paying close attention to the actual puzzle shape versus what’s printed on the piece. I dig into these and more techniques in this blog post.

For kids especially, the thought of assembling a large puzzle with many, many pieces can become extremely overwhelming. If we can show them ways to break down the process into steps, it can make for a powerful lesson in how to undertake other big projects with planning and patience.

Fourth, Managing Expectations 

You may be the only person at the table puzzling for quite some time. And that’s okay.

My mom was my family’s main puzzler, and I never really assembled them with her - I lost patience, just like my son does. But now when she comes for a visit I set one up on one side of the kitchen table, and that’s usually where I’ll find her (and also where we end up having our best conversations).

I often tell my kids ‘Just Because, Doesn’t Mean.” Just because someone isn’t into puzzling in their youth doesn’t mean they won’t pick it up later. Just because your kid doesn’t like to puzzle doesn’t mean they’ll stay addicted to their devices forever. Just because you put a puzzle out and your kid doesn’t engage with it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the kid, or that you’re a failure in any regard.

But, meeting your kid where they are (baby steps), sharing your stick-to-it-ness (modeling), exhibiting ways to work through projects (planning/batching) and keeping expectations low might open up a new hobby to those you love, be it next week or decades later. 

I’m still “baby-stepping” with my youngest. I help him batch and he walks away from the table a lot when he gets annoyed. But even if I'm the one doing most of the work it’s so much fun to see him lock smaller chunks together, and when a puzzle is finished he’s so happy to have had a part in it. Puzzles, like so many challenges, can be a lot more fun when you don’t solve them alone, and he gets to experience that in a small way at the table with me. I’ll call that a win.